GETTING into work today was like playing a starring role on the Krypton Factor. Every way I turned the roads seemed to be cut off.
You see, our loveable council are pedestrianising St Mary's Street, the main thoroughfare through Cardiff, but forgot to tell us that this would involve other streets being closed down - like the one that passes by our office.
Basil, who has continued chirping to his heart's content over the last few days, even when the alarm is supposedly off, was getting in a real tizzy... as was his owner. Turn left and you would meet a sign barring you from entry, turn right and you suddenly found you were heading the wrong way down a street that once encouraged traffic to travel in both directions.
Getting to the office itself was an impossibility. Just when I had mastered all the twists and turns I came across a street blocked by red and white bollards. Drat. Finally I opted to turn the car around, head for home and get the bus back instead.
Others were far more ingenious, though. Nathan, for instance. He just stopped the car in the street, got out, removed the bollards and drove through to the office car park.
I sent Bram a message, too, warning him that he might have some problems. Ten hours later it arrived at his mobile phone, which he turns on about twice a day to preserve the battery.
By then he had been at work for nine hours.
Been following my new health kick and have had sultana bran all week on the basis that my blood test results suggested I was on the verge of a coronary. Frightened, I went out and bought more than £80 of healthy, fat-free food. It really bugged me, as I am a meat-eater at heart.
Then I saw my doctor. "I don't believe this result, I think they've made a mistake at the hospital and accidentally added a digit."
B*ll***s. Now I've got to live like a gerbil for the next month.
The Echo ran a story today about a brilliant website, which is being sponsored by a well-known fast food chain. On it, as long as you have a passport photo-style picture on your computer, you can turn yourself into a character from my favourite TV programme The Simpsons. Having had the treat of seeing the Simpsons film with Wren last Sunday I couldn't wait to try it.
I came out exactly in cartoon form as I have developed in real life. Not even a caricature. Bald head, unkempt look... you get the picture (though its a bit better than the one that Withers put on this blog).
Anyway if you want to have a crack go to: www.simpsonizeme.com. It's brill.