REMEMBER the Alfred Hitchcock film The Birds? Well, it appears one particular feathered menace has got it in for my poor old white Corsa, Basil. The other day this vicious fiend went out and stuffed himself with every purple and red berry he could get his beak around and then decided to relieve himself all over Bas' back window.
Even a super-duper grade 5 car wash, costing an extortionate amount of money, couldn't clear up all the mess.
Now this morning I come out to find that this soaring swine has been at the blackcurrants, and once again Basil is the target of his bullying. Well, I've had enough of it, I can tell you.
The seagulls around Cardiff are becoming a real pain in the backside, or should I say their backsides are becoming a real pain. But more than that, these city dwelling tyrants are getting fatter and fatter and cheekier and cheekier every day.
Put your bin bags out late on Monday night, by Tuesday morning the whole street looks like war-torn Baghdad on a bad day. Not to mention the extreme care you have to take walking to work.
I lived in London for five years and I must admit it was a much cleaner place than Cardiff. The streets of the town are filthy, and the gulls must take some responsibility, the swines.
Last night, sitting outside The Yard with Shutts, Wathanovski, Withers, the Fugitive and Nickers, making a surprise appearance, there was suddenly a loud crash behind us. I assumed a waiter at the nearby Nando's had dropped his tray and turned around to see what had happened.
There were two gulls, lets call them Snappy and Crappy, who were taking turns to divebomb from the top of the Pancake stall onto the outside tables at Nandos and "clearing" the dirty plates left by some customers who had attended earlier in the evening. I blame the restaurant in some ways, for not clearing the tables sooner, but I think I could see one of the waiters cowering inside from these giant flying menaces. Later one of the gulls, I think it was Snappy, strutted past just inches from our table like he owned the entire brewery quarter.
It has also come to my attention that the Style Nazi had to chase off a sadistic gull from outside the new building. It had swooped down and grabbed a pigeon by the neck, and was trying to fly off with its haul. Outrageous.
Got in last night and, thanks to Wren's promptings, enjoyed a very nice King Prawn Balti ready meal, and cooked rice to accompany it. I wouldn't normally entertain such things, it feels like cheating, but Wren thought that in these busy times it might make life easier. Spot on, babe.