THE wonderful Withers is back from his idea of heaven - a trip to the European parliament in Brussels. He talks about it as if he's been swimming with dolphins, watched a World Cup final and bungee jumped off Mount Everest. To be honest, the whole thing sounds like my idea of hell.
Still, he made sure all those Euro politicians had something to do for a change, spending hours in conversation with them about the EU (yawn).
His exciting week began in Crewe where he told his relatives that he was refraining from the booze because he had a big week coming up. As it was, he managed to go to the land of Stella Artois and Michelob and didn't touch a drop of alcohol. Yes, it was that exciting.
He did, however, manage to go to a thoroughly modern restaurant which totally flummoxed the wonderful one. As a starter, they were confronted with some contraption containing four test tubes. After consulting with his colleagues he came to the conclusion he didn't have the faintest idea what he was supposed to do with them and was forced to ask a waiter. Turned out they contained potato soup and you were supposed to drink from them.
But that was even surpassed by the second course, which contained one solitary chip in a puddle of Hollandais Sauce. Might attempt that one myself - you never know it could be a winning recipe if I ever appear on Masterchef.
Returning to the land of the living, Withers joined us at the new old O'Neills where, after a heated debate about the merits of the Welsh language, we wound our way home. I was still a bit upset, to be honest, England having failed to win a Test match in Antigua when they couldn't take the final wicket despite having 10 overs in which to do so. For we England cricket supporters, things just go from bad to worse.