24-hour party people

I'VE got a new project for Keifer Sutherland - that's if he needs something to occupy his mind after he's served his debt to society and put distance between himself and his drink-drive conviction. It's kind of a Welsh version of his hit TV series 24 and it involves the staff of WoS, at least those who put their neck on the line throughout the week at such stamina-sapping events as Boozeday Tuesday, Wednesday Club and Thirsty Thursday.
This idea came about when we held an impromptu conference in our own version of CTU, that's The Yard public house for the uninitiated. What with the Prince of Darkness now pursuing an entirely nocturnal existence, and with the daring escapades of the Fabulous Baker Boy reaching my ears, I reckon it will go like this...

(Baggsy doing the Jack Bauer voiceover)
The following takes place between 5am and 6am on Sunday morning...
The Fabulous BB, hideously outnumbered by the air stewards from a Cardiff flight inside one of his all-day drinking establishments, finally manages to extricate himself and stumble home. On arriving he reckons he can handle a few hours sleep and will rise nice and early in time for lunch. In fact when he wakes it is dark and he believes he has only been asleep for a few minutes. In fact it is 5pm in the afternoon. The Fab BB, undeterred, goes out again, not to return until 4am the following morning.

The following takes place between 6am and 7am...
The Prince of Darkness stirs in his coffin, opens a bleary eye in the semi-light and immediately considers calling the police. He believes his place has been vandalised during the night by a secret cheese sandwich eater who has left bread crumbs, flaky bits of cheese, tomato ketchup and all manner of other things all over the floor, the work tops etc.

The following takes place between 7am and 8am...
Brammy waits in vain at a bus stop, forgetting that the clocks have actually gone back and it is in fact an hour earlier. The wonderful Withers, meanwhile, is already playing the martyr and wants to go into work two days early just so that he can say: "Well, I went into work two days early."

The following takes place between 8am and 9am...
Roberts flicks on Sky Sports and watches the first of many nob-end rugby games from the other side of the world.

The following takes place between 9am and 10am...
Smashy turns over, snores and goes back to sleep.
Meanwhile, Monsieur de Lebussier rings mama from his luxury pad in the bay and asks if she can forward him another slice of his enormous inheritance so that he can lord it around Cardiff a bit longer.

The following... Oh, that's enough of this nonsense. How Bauer does it I don't know, but I am sure that we would lose a few hours of the tale, particularly during boozeday Tuesday. It wouldn't help my voiceover either... Previoushly on twenny fur... I'm sure you must have had days like it, Keifer.