Christmas cheer

IT was all quiet on the WoS front. Then the phone rang.
The wonderful Withers rushed to answer it and, in hushed tones, conducted a meaningful interview with a contact.
Serious stuff - something about the amount of suicides that had been committed over the last few years at one of the local prisons.
Without warning a huge voice boomed out. "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!" sang The Voice of God in his deep baritone voice. Withers looked up and almost castrated him with his glassy-eyed stare. Quite what possessed the Voice to decide at that moment to let rip with the song currently being given a good airing on the Marks & Spencers ads none of us will ever know. But it certainly left us all shook up.

The Voice, as befitting his reputation, has found a new level of oddness these past few days. On Wednesday he sidled up to me and asked: "Would you like to see my pet snake?"
I must admit the idea didn't thrill me. Not to be put off he whipped out his mobile phone and showed me a picture of a corn snake climbing up the inside of one of his jumpers. And he was wearing it at the time.
Don't be surprised if The Voice is on I'm a Celebrity next year.
At the end of last night's vocal delight it was the rest of us screaming "Get me out of here!"