TV dinners

THE Prince of Darkness has been offered his 15-minutes of fame and a chance of world stardom. Unfortunately he can't remember anything about it. Apparently it happened in the early hours of the morning in the City Arms when a student filmmaker engaged the Dark Lord in conversation and said: "How would you fancy appearing in a film?"
He obviously had spotted the Prince's talents from a long way off and, of course, the creature of the night was more than happy to accept the offer. "Don't mind if I do," he said, envisaging the time when his scrawny handprint materialises on Hollywood Boulevard.
Unfortunately, there has been no call back and when asked in the cold light of day what he intended to do about this opportunity of a lifetime he admitted: "I don't remember anything about it."
It got me wondering, though, what part they had in mind for the bloodsucking one...
"Dracula: P*ssed and Loving It" perhaps. Or maybe "To Live and Die in The Yard". Whatever, that Oscar celebration seems a long way off at the moment.

Mind you, according to Smashy it could be something entirely different. One of the many drunken texts I received while holidaying in Boston declared: "From the look of the Prince's hair he is turning into Krusty the Clown from the Simpsons!"
Perhaps, Simpsons Movie II is the most that we can expect.

Talking of hair, there has been some madman on the loose in Cardiff with a pair of scissors. The Prince arrived in the office freshly shorn on Tuesday afternoon, followed closely by Smashy, who had apparently run into the same demon barber at roughly the same time.
Then The Fugitive turned up sans his Elvis-style quiff. Now, I know he is struggling with his sanity at the moment, but all he needed was a bit off the sides and a mohican and he would be the spit of Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver. Watch out, all you Jodie Fosters out there...