Are there any true vegetarians?

NEWS reaches me of dramatic events at a weekend Beerfest in Bavaria. Paps had arranged the trip some time ago to see in his 40th year and dragged along some of the usual suspects on a trip to Munich.
At the moment only dregs of information are coming through, like the fact that the Wonderful Withers decided that during the trip he would only answer to the name of Monkfish (bizarre!) and that Smashy met up with a Bayern Munich basketball star who originally hailed from Port Talbot.
Perhaps the strangest story, though, was of everyone's favourite conscientious objector Withers (not that he has a conscience) actually stuffing his face with Bratwurst and declaring: "I'm not a vegetarian when I am in Germany."
Now, I don't know about you, but I thought these veggie lovers had taken some kind of oath, refusing to eat meat because it was cruel to the cutesy wootsie animals which we dedicated carnivores tuck into at every opportunity. I didn't know it was a matter of Geography, plain and simple.
Perhaps the animals of the Fatherland are particularly uncute and deserve to be sent squeeling to their death in the local abbartoire before being served up on a platter, the life grilled out of them, for Withers to tuck his gnashers into with relish (least I expect he took it with relish).
I would like to think this was a one-off incident of a dedicated vegetarian ripping up his principles to slaver over a hot roasted carcass. Not so.
Only the other day one of our features designers, 'The Hippy', declared that he too had turned his back on all things rabbit food and was now regularly gorging on any juicy sausage, chop or chicken leg he could find.
And, of course, there was the famous case of Sarah 'not guilty' Me Lud, the Scottish reporter, who, when asked if she was a vegetarian, said "Only sometimes".
Nice to have a real conviction about something.