I am now getting a teensy-weensy bit worried about how my calm, mild-mannered personality is going to cope with a teeny weeny baby.
This occured to me at some time, mid rage, on Wednesday afternoon.
Having visited the hospital to find out a little more about the impending birth, Mrs Rippers and I returned home.
First we opted to complete the set of Argos drawers we had bought for the new arrival and, after a little bit of counting up to 10, we managed it - result. Then we decided it might be an idea to try to fit the super-dooper, all-singing, all-dancing car seat we had purchased into our motor vehicles.
At first, it seemed a simple task. It took me no time at all to get the seat into Mrs R's Micra Millie and I felt quite proud of myself. I even managed it with our stroppy teddy bear Fenway strapped into the seat. A rather big baby, I have to admit, but perhaps a bit more pliable than the real thing.
Then it came to my Clio Ramsey, and it was an entirely different story. I strained this way, pulled that way, swapped seats, swapped belts, everything. And none of it worked. Only one thing to do. Stomp up and down and express the opinion that "obviously they didn't have car seats when this car was built". Umm, 1998, actually. Thinking about it, that is probably a bit of a mad declaration.
Anyway, following my moto - if in doubt, give up - I stomped off back into the house, flinging the instruction book onto the table and declaring that I would need to get a new set of safety belts.
Fortunately my wife is a bit of a cooler character, and far more up with new tech. She went onto you-tube and found out exactly how the car seat should be fitted.
After coming down off the ceiling, I watched the video and was shocked to see how easily the task could be performed. Trying it out in Ramsey, the seat fitted... no problem. Which makes me ask: Why bother with such a ludicrously complicated, over long, instruction manual when a video does the job in half the time?
Meanwhile, the Fat Kid has lived up to my nickname for her. I call her the goldfish because, no matter what happens to her, she will go through exactly the same thing a few weeks later as if she has never encountered the problem before.
She is now going back out with ex boyfriend Scott. This was ex boyfriend Scott she moaned about excessively, who treated her worse than dirt etc.
A month later, though, and one more trip around the goldfish bowl...