When you sit down to watch possibly the worst Mafia movie of all time then what could be better than first consulting your Sopranos cookbook and concocting a meal to make a capo proud.
Being fresh out of horses' heads, however, I had to settle for the elaborately named Pasta Fagioli (Fagioli as in Faj not fag, you'll find no left over filter tips here). Translated, it simply means Pasta and beans and its another one pot dish that it's nearly impossible to cock up even in the advanced stages of inebriation.
To proceed chop up one celery rib and crush a couple of cloves of garlic.
Heat up some olive oil in the pot and cook these for a couple of minutes over a moderate heat. When the garlic turns golden brown, discard it.
Add two chopped up fresh tomatoes, some tomato puree (I use the sundried tomato version) and about a quarter of a cup of water. Then stir in as much paprika as is your hearts desire. That's quite a lot in my book.
Bring to the boil, then simmer for 10 minutes before adding a tin of cannellini beans. Bring back to a simmer and mash some of the beans with the back of a spoon.
You need some small pasta of some description to go with this and I prefer breaking up spaghetti into 2 to 3 inch pieces.
Bring back to the boil and simmer until the spaghetti is cooked (about 10-15 mins). The sauce should be thick, but if it's too thick then add some boiling water.
Turn off the heat and let stand for 10 minutes with the lid on.
Add salt and pepper to taste and spoon onto a plate, before going to catch up with Mickey Blue Eyes.
This film is a load of old Tosh, like most American films featuring the boyish Hugh Grant. Absolute balderdash but it's amazing how many Sopranos are in it. There is Pauli, for instance, playing (surprise, suprise) a mobster. Of course, he was a mobster in real life. Then there is the guy Tony Soprano bumped off cos he was talking to the Feds, whatsisname? Oh, yeh, Pussy Bonasera. Some of the peripheral characters are there too, along with James Caan, brother to Al Pacino in the Godfather. One wonders how all these top-notch mobsters could have been persuaded to take part in such rot.
If I had mob connections I would be trying to organise a hit on the Producer, pretty darn quickish.
The Sopranos is the best thing on TV - this film is one of the worst in living memory. Hugh Grant? He should be swimming with the fishes. Gedoutahere.