I HEARD the Voice of God last night. Across a crowded pub it boomed: "A pint of Brains smooth please, bra'." Of course, it wasn't the omnipotent being himself ordering up a pint of Cardiff's finest - it was the Voice of God as you might hear in one of those old fashioned film epics with a cast of thousands and Charlton Heston in the starring role. Moses, the full story, or something like that (now on DVD in eight-parts from K-tel, just send off a cheque for £2.99 to ... etc, etc).
The Voice of God actually belongs to The New Boy Macca. The only problem with the Voice of God is that I never envisaged the supreme being speaking with a Gwent accent and rapping with the Goldie Lookin' Chain. To be fair, that's exactly what Macca did in a previous life, rapped with the Newport-based funsters. As Macc Dad, apparently. Just pulled out before they became successful and therefore missed out on all the good times. Instead, makes a pittance in this wonderful world we call journalism.
Still, I reckon Macca, with that booming voice, could start up a tasty little sideline. He could hire himself out for weddings, funerals, religious celebrations and Bar Mitzvah's...
An essential difference between the Voice of God and the omnipresent one is that the Voice of God is not "all seeing". He didn't, for example, foresee a bend in the road to Usk the other night and managed to total his Merc. I can almost hear his booming declaration as he stumbled around in that roadside ditch: "Oh, bugger". Apparently the ABS let him down.
Anyway, got home last night for the next episode of the Sopranos and the League of Gentlemen film. Both, in many ways, a little bit disappointing. Not too impressed with these Tony Soprano dream sequences, I'm afraid.
As I needed something quick and filling I went for the Stir-fried minced pork with steamed rice.
Basically, I've got a jar of those pickled vegetables in the cupboard, which makes life so much easier.
8oz minced pork
4oz washed, drained and chopped mixed veg
1 1/2 tablespoons cooking oil
2 tbsp dark soy
1 tbsp sesame oil
2 tsp sesame oil
2 tsp sugar. Garnish with spring onions if liked.
Rinse veg and blot dry with kitchen paper. Chop up into pieces.
Heat wok until hot. Add oil and wait until hot.
Stir-fry mince for two minutes, breaking up into bits.
Add veg and other ingredients. Cook for another five minutes.
Serve on bed of rice.
Condition check on Pillow: Still alive.