WALES on Sunday is on a war footing - and Rosey is our own Lord Kitchener, rallying the troops to go on army manoeuvres at the local playing fields.
So far he has recruited Kempy and Becks to his platoon, and on week nights they head off to push their bodies to the limit so that they are mentally and physically prepared to bring out the best Sunday newspaper the West has ever produced.
But like all war-time politicians, there is an ulterior motive behind Rosey's recruiting policy. In fact, the more I learn about this little escapade the more I think his motives are more aligned to Bilko than Blair.
It turns out that Rosey gets a £30 "introduction fee" for enlisting other people to the cause. With Kempy and Becks that makes £60. And it was almost civil war this week when Kempy twigged to Rosey's mercenary activities. Now she has demanded a slice of the pie and is threatening to go AWOL if Rosey doesn't cough up.
All this left poor old Becks in the role of Bilko's naive sidekick Doberman, blissfully unaware that people were making capital out of his pain. Unaware until I told him, that is.
Now it looks like a peace accord has been reached and Becks, too, will share in the spoils of war.
My mate Gareth's birthday last night so I needed something quick. Invented a new recipe which I will call Pasta FAITH. Faith, by the way, stands for F*** All In The House". Fortunately I had a couple of tomatoes, some cream, mushrooms and one of those big Matteson's smoked pork sausages.
Here's what I did:
Bring two pans of hot water to the boil,
Submerge Penne Pasta in one and reduce to simmer, place the sausage in the other.
Heat up olive oil and fry chopped onion and two cloves of chopped garlic.
Add mushrooms and stir fry for two minutes.
Then add tomato paste, stir for half a minute and add chopped tomatoes and a good splash of cream.
If you like it with a bit of bite add a good spoon of chilli powder, plus salt and black pepper.
Rinse pasta and remove sausage from hot water.
Chop up sausage and add to the sauce, coating well
Serve, topped with grated Parmigian.