GRASSHOPPER Withers is turning Japanese, by all accounts. While most of us spend our Saturdays out on the razz, the inscrutable Crewe-asian has taken up Origami. Far from a martial art, this is better known by his phillistine colleagues as the ancient art of paper folding.
This revelation came to light, as all such moments of enlightenment do, during a particularly heavy session in the Yard on Tuesday.
Becks and myself seriously doubted that this was really the way he spent a large portion of his weekend until he produced his mobile phone and showed us a picture of something he convinced us was a paper penguin.
Apparently they have been giving Origami lessons in the Times and Withers, his social life obviously entering one of its famous "dips", decided he wanted to lift himself to a higher plane and forget all his troubles.
Didn't last long, mind. This morning I asked him whether he had moved on to Dinosaurs.
"No, I've given it up," he confessed.
Still, if you pass Chez Withers in the next few days, don't be surprised to see him outside painting the fence.
Last night I had a first go at Polenta, that maize-based substitute for potatoes or pasta. I didn't have to make it mind, it came ready mixed in a pack from Sainsbury's. I put it in the oven on gas mark 7 for 20 minutes and topped it with Parmigian Cheese. I mixed up an Italian concoction of fried bacon, onion, garlic, basil leaves, fresh tomato and dried chillies to go with it.
It was alright, but I'm not sure I will make a habit of it.