Scooby fancies himself as the new Stephen Spielberg but is finding it a bit tricky to master the software for his video camera. The photographer-cum-drummer-cum-landlord was kind enough to agree to produce a DVD of our wedding, but so far things haven't gone according to plan.
First take was beautifully edited with some very appropriate background music but, unfortunately, the wedding ceremony was reproduced twice. Take two, and Scooby managed to remove the duplicate (as Mrs R said, "I think once is enough for anyone") and it all seemed to be perfect, apart from the fact that my wife's speech was interrupted rather rudely by a piece of music being imposed over the top.
Being a little bit self conscious about the whole public-speaking thing she assumed that her speech was so poor that Scoobs had deliberately chosen to edit it this way. Either that, or perhaps something had gone wrong with the sound recording during the speeches.
When I asked him, politely, whether he had any out-takes of Mrs R's speech so that we could listen to it, he was shocked. He said he certainly hadn't intended to mask out her moment in the spotlight. So back went the DVD again.
Take three, and everything seemed perfect with the music in the right place and Mrs R's speech reproduced in full. Trouble was, the double wedding ceremony had been re-inserted.
Sheepishly I had to return to the producer again, but by now it had dawned on me what had gone wrong. Having re-done the footage to make sure the wedding ceremony wasn't repeated, our budding Spielberg had forgotten to change the music accordingly so it now appeared later in the film, just at the time Mrs R was making her speech.
He is back in the video suite, attempting to rectify the problem as we speak. By the time we get our DVD I expect we'll be celebrating our silver wedding anniversary. I'm sure it will be a work of art, though.
Word reaches me that Dave the Suit, who likes to think of himself as the doyen of Cardiff political journalists as he hobnobs with the great and the good on the local council, has found another string to his bow. Apparently during the latter stages of Smashy's infamous birthday bash he was seen throwing himself about with gay abandon to the music on offer from my own personal DJ Jase in the City Arms. In fact, at one stage he was seen leaping, Nureyev style, onto one of the tables in the City Arms, to the amazement of his colleagues.
I hear that the spies from the Welsh Millennium Centre are now trying to make contact. They fancy him as the next Sugar Plum Fairy.
Last night I returned home from enjoying a few relaxing beers with the Wonderful One and Jarhead in the new old O'Neill's to continue my latest cullinary delight, a lamb pot roast.
WHAT YOU NEED:
A lamb joint. I used a half shoulder but a half leg joint is recommended.
1 tsp sunflower oil
1 tsp each of thyme, rosemary and mint
500g new potatoes, cut in half if they are large
12 button onions (I used one large onion, sliced)
A sliced carrot or two
2 celery sticks, timmed and cut diagonally
One of those new stock pots advertised by Marco Pierre White
450ml boiling water
150ml dry white wine
A cup of frozen peas
One tsp of tomato puree
salt and black pepper
Pre-heat oven to 190/gas mark 5
Put lamb on a plate and rub all over with a mixture of the herbs and oil
Season with salt and pepper
Put into the oven for 45 minutes then remove and add the veg.
Pour the wine over the veg, then add the boiling water mixed with the stock pot
Cover and cook for a further 30 minutes.
Remove from oven again and mix in the puree and peas.
Cook for another 20 minutes, then set out the veg and slice the lamb on top.
That's what you should do, anyway. I cooked the majority of it before popping out for a beer, then returned to add the peas and the puree. I also left it to cook longer than expected so that I could revel in the Aussies sharp exit from the first round of the world Twenty20 Cup. I think it is a ploy though, so that they can be fully rested before thumping us again in the Ashes.
Hope I'm wrong.