THE nanny state is upon us and no more so than in Wales, where the Assembly government is ready to stop us all smoking, drinking and, in every sense of the word, being merry. Assembly is right. It might as well be made of Lego for all the childish 'holier-than-thou' doctrines that emerge from it. And they want to give these people MORE power...
In preparation, the Old Scroat has already brought in a no-smoking policy - much to Brammy's disgust. He sent me a text on Wednesday night: "Sat in no smo area. Freezing. F***ing off soon. This is f***ing me off." And he's their only regular. Doesn't bode well for the future.
It got us talking on Thursday night in the Yard. It was a cold night, about -2, and Roberts confessed that he would probably give up smoking when the ban came in next April rather than stand outside perishing.
I said I would probably have to give up drinking, too, and probably life.
But the Prince of Darkness had an altogether darker outlook on things. "Yeh, I guess if I am going to have to give up these things I'll just have to go home and watch Animal Porn all night instead."
Hmm, don't know whether he mentioned that in the job interview.
Meantime, we've found a new part time job for The Voice. The Voice is rail thin, particularly in his pinstripes, but we reckon he would make the perfect Welsh Santa.
The "political correct" police at the Assembly keep going on about childhood obesity and we reckon a thin Santa would be the perfect role model. And, of course, he has The Voice. "Ho, ho, ho."
I can just see him now, sitting in Cwmbran town centre with his elf assistants, Withers and Marc. Withers would love it, smiling and sending out Xmas wishes to hordes of excitable young children in his green tights and natty hat.
Second thoughts, I can see those same smiling children emerging from the grotto with long faces and tears in their eyes.
The parents would ask: "What do you want for Christmas?"
"Lethal injection please, mum. I never realised life was so miserable."
Got home last night and couldn't be arsed to cook. Also, there was a new drama series on BBC, The State Within, that had me hooked from the start. Settled for a bag of Ham and Cheese Nibbles and a cup of tea.
Downstairs it was boys night out. My attempts to have an early night were thwarted by Scooby showing off on his new pair of Congos to Pete and Gareth. Cue Scooby banging away to a rather loud version of Peaches by The Stranglers, with the other two singing along enthusiastically but with little reference to the tune. Wonder what the neighbour thought - she's a singing instructor.